In a session I ran last week, we found ourselves diving deep into a fascinating discussion: in a difficult conversation, each person likely believes they’re being ‘reasonable.’ Even when emotions run high, there’s often a part of us that insists, “I still have a point. I’m still right.” Sound familiar?

It’s completely natural – we all want to feel validated, to know that our perspective is seen and understood. But here’s the real question: does it actually matter who’s right?

When Being Right Gets in the Way

One of the hardest but most transformative mindset shifts we can make is recognising that our need to be right can block real connection. If we become fixated on proving our correctness, we stop listening, stop understanding, and ultimately stop moving forward.

This is where ego plays a huge role. Our ego tells us that being right means being safe, being respected, or even being whole. But the truth is, we remain safe and whole regardless of who is right in any given moment. When we let go of the need to ‘win’ the conversation, we create space for actual progress.

A Simple Shift in Perspective

Next time you find yourself in a discussion where someone puts forward an idea that challenges yours – whether technical, professional, or personal – try this simple thought:
“Oh yeah, fair enough. I wonder where that comes from?”

This doesn’t mean immediately agree their perspective is the only one, or that even that you are wrong. It’s about genuinely engaging with their perspective, acknowledging that their version of ‘reasonable’ makes sense to them, even if it doesn’t to you. From there, real dialogue can happen.

Give It a Try

What happens when you stop worrying about being right and focus on moving forward instead? I’d love to hear how it goes!